Oh No She Didn't.......Oh Yes I Did!!

Just a little background for those who don't know me well.   I don't like to make excuses for anything.   (O.k. maybe I'd like to but my pride won't allow it.)  When pregnant with Cindy, we climbed Stone Mountain around 8+ months because I didn't want to use the "pregnant card."   When I was pulled over by the police for yielding instead of making a complete stop, I couldn't bring myself to use the "don't you work with my husband card."   If I get behind on chores or school, I don't want to use the "well duh I have 8 children card" because I feel God wouldn't give me more than He will enable me to manage. 

BUT, the other night when we had the house fire, I pulled a card.   My cabinets and counter tops were emptied onto the dining room floor because my husband installed the counter tops before he went to work and my 16 year old was caulking the corners.  My living room was covered in boxes from the home school consignment book store that was being packed up, and I was in my room in the bed with the younger children because I was so stinking tired.   When I surveyed the mess that the firemen had to see as they climbed into my attic to be sure there was not any way our home would catch back on fire after they left, I looked at the fire man holding the ladder and apologized for the mess that I was in bed early with the children because (deep breath and sad countenance) I have cancer.  He apologized and by pulling my C card I realized children services wouldn't be at my door in a few hours due to the disaster of my home and allowing the older boys do fireworks unsupervised.   Soooo there is my true confession.    Now my husband may tell you that I pull it nightly when I ask him to scratch my back but don't you listen to him.

No doctors two months ago....Seven doctors today

It is easier to write when it's not all about yourself.   I've been staring at this screen for the last ten minutes trying to decide what to write about.   Since I last wrote, I'm still continually overwhelmed with the body of Christ sending me notes of encouragement and letting me know they are praying.   Honestly, it's pretty humbling.  Being so much easier to give than receive has never felt more true.   The Lord has provided so much encouragement and peace I forget I'm sick until I get overly tired.   And I haven't been nearly as tired since the body of Christ has lifted me up in prayer.   My food schedule that was set up at takethemameal.com is already filled up through February excepting ONE day!     I'm repeatedly surprised at the love shown to us.    I am probably not much different than most folks reading this blog.    A Christian very aware of her shortcomings, faults, struggles that I'm amazed by His mercy and grace towards me in any given moment on any day that this outpouring of love has made me cry when even the word cancer has not.  

Today a mammogram was set up for Thursday to be sure it's only fibroid cysts in my breasts.   That is a common occurrence in my family but we are making sure.   I've definitely done lots of preventative in that area with 13 pregnancies and 14 years of nursing babies.  Of course, I would have thought I had done enough to prevent colon cancer too.   Whole grains, fresh fruit and vegetables, lots of salads each week, etc. are common in our diet.   Go figure.   I meet radiologist Thursday and then will be seeing him 5 days a week.   I have minor surgery Friday to get a port put in to make the chemo easier.   Then I will only have to visit the oncologist 1 day a week for chemo.   He believes we will only need to go 5 1/2 weeks instead of 8.  My body will rest for a few weeks then surgery.   I'm praying when they check me I won't even need the surgery.   The doctor said I may not even lose my hair (although I wasn't even worried about that.)  I have a large packet to read over tonight to prepare me for the weeks ahead.  

Would still appreciate prayers for healing,  medical expenses covered, peace for my mom, husband, and the children, school to be done well despite circumstances, and for opportunities to share the joy and hope of the Lord with each visit we make to the doctor.   While you are praying, pray my daughter Cindy does well on her college exam tomorrow.   The semester is just beginning but this exam on her first day back is detrimental towards her staying in the nursing program.   Pray also that my son John Russell has an extraordinary experience with the Lord while he's at the Passion Conference in Atlanta this week along with the other high school seniors and college age students.   Pray for Nancy who has taken over teaching my Challenge II classes in co-op that she will not be overwhelmed and sense the equipping of the Lord for this task that has been thrown upon her.  Thanking the Lord for you all.  

New Year's Plans

Happy New Year!  I was pondering why we get so excited about a new year that we make extravagant resolutions and plans that we hope to improve ourselves by year after year.   Surprisingly, my somewhat negative attitude towards New Year's Resolutions aside, when reviewing previous years I realized that despite not making "the goal" in the year I had made them and "arriving" at some destination of my imagination,  I've come a long way.   When I began wanting to eat healthier 25 years ago, new recipes were found.    Now I do most of my cooking without a recipe and naturally add onions, garlic, olive oil, coconut oil to recipes that I can to improve it's health benefits.    I began buying whole grain breads.  Now I bake whole grain breads from fresh ground wheat.   I don't juice every day but my family juices a lot when fresh/frozen fruits and vegetables are available.  We may not go to the gym daily but we look for ways to be active even if it means walking or riding bikes around the neighborhood, parking way out at the store, taking stairs instead of elevators, etc.  My garden will never make the cover of a magazine but it supplies a lot of great veggies during the summer months.   Now lest you think I'm bragging, I can also tell you many goals I did not accomplish this past year like finishing painting the interior of our home, keeping clutter totally under control, paying off taxes early, and visiting family more.

Here we are the first week of January and despite myself, I'm excited to be at the starting gates ready to run.    May we run the race well this year and not grow weary in well doing. 

Here are some of my goals/plans.  

1)  Family Bible Reading continued and more consistent. We stay on track on school days but vary on others.
2)   Bible Memory.   Have a list of things for us to memorize this year.
3)  Nutrition.  Goals spread throughout the year like remember to drink your green tea, juice daily with Barley max, etc.   Would love to only make our bread and not purchase but not knowing what chemo/radiation is going to be like this year it's a goal I'll be flexible on. 
4)  Exercise.   Do something daily.
5)  Personal Bible Study:   Beginning with the New Inductive Bible study on the Pentatuch
6) Home schooling:   Staying on track in our Challenge courses and Foundations Work.   Reading more great books.
7)   Home.   Finish decluttering and house repairs (painting, trim work, etc.)
8)  Lord willing, kick this cancer to the curb and be "normal" again.

What are some of your aspirations this coming year, 2012!

When it Rains, It Pours

In the last two weeks, I have found out I have cancer and  my life will be radically changing for the next 6 months barring a miracle.  After this great news, our refrigerator begins  a quick death.   Today on the way to church our "Service Engine Soon" light comes on and stays on.  Then tonight, because things haven't been stressful enough on my poor husband, my boys had done their very few legal fireworks because they fell asleep too early last night.  When finished, one of my sons put the firework trash next to the trash can.  I'm in bed already because I am super tired this evening and another son runs in to say "Mom, the house is on fire!".   I run out and the huge green trash can is burnt to the ground the eaves on that side of the house is peeled back and the wood is burnt or gone.   The fire men show up and need to get into the attic to be sure it is totally out and have no chance of it relighting.    To say I had a great reaction to this ONE MORE THING would be a lie. Immediately, I am overwhelmed and burdened feeling like I am in a huge spiritual battle and growing very weary.

About the point of having a total meltdown, I am reminded that 1)  The Lord is with me and will not leave me during my physical battle.  2) Once I admitted my need for a refrigerator, the Lord provided me one through another Christian family.   3)  When I went to O'Reilly's after church today, they believe it's just a spark plug that needs to be fixed on the truck.  4)  A similar incident happened up north with fireplace ashes set next to trash can and five people were killed in that fire.   Praise God our house is nothing compared to the lives that live within it. 

Psalm 42:5-6  

Why are you cast down, O my soul,
   and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
   my salvation and my God. 

The cure for this emotional setback is to praise Jesus.   Praise Him for being my provider.   Praise Him for being my healer.  Praise Him for He is Wonderful, Counselor, Prince of Peace, Mighty God!!   Let everything within me praise His holy name.

Exciting New Adventure

I awoke this morning with a sense of excitement.   I realized I have been sent on a mission field.   I am to give the Hope of Jesus where the fear of death is commonplace.  Last year I had no doctors.   Heck, last month I had no doctor.   Today I have 4, a gynecologist, a gastroenterologist, an oncologist, and a surgeon.  That's four new offices with lots of nurses.   I will be going 5 days a week for 8 weeks to chemo/radiation treatments and will have opportunities to speak to lots of people.   As a busy home schooling Mom of 8, I thought my big mission trips would come when the children are grown.  I could become a Betty Fountain, an older saint at our last church, who spent her last years going back to forth to Honduras ministering to others.   While they were in high school, my oldest daughter went to Honduras and my oldest son went to Brazil.  I hope each of my children get a taste of mission work before they leave home that spurs a lifetime interest of investment.   It's why we spent years of Tuesday mornings at our church's food pantry ministry.  I want our family to have a lifestyle of ministering to others.  But in the here and now, I was too busy in my family ministry to invest much time elsewhere.  

I will still be excited if God does a great miracle of healing in my body.  However, I sense a greater purpose in this trial than God being glorified in my healing right away.  Perhaps this time, it will be God glorified in my suffering.  I remember Pastor Wade sharing this as one of his life verses:  "I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead." Philippians 3:8-11  I always thought phew, not for me.   I do count everything loss for the excellence of knowing Christ BUT do not sign me up for that suffering part.  No thank you!

But now, I'm super excited about the opportunities before me.   (Remind me that when I'm sick and losing hair.)  So watch out Satan, what you meant for evil, God meant for good.

Beeeeeeeeep Beeeeeeeeep

This is a test. For the next few hours, this blog will conduct a test of the Miracle Broadcast System. This is only a test

Beeeeeeeeep   Beeeeeeeeep

This is a test of the Miracle Broadcast System. The broadcasters of miracles in voluntary cooperation with your prayers and the Holy Spirit have developed this system to keep you informed in the event of a miracle.

If this had been the actual miracle, the Attention Signal you just heard would have been followed by official hallelujahs, amens and Praise Jesus'.   All meals, transportation, planned on our behalf (unless you feel led....or if it's Mexican) will be suspended. 

This blog serves the praying saints on my behalf.  This concludes this test of the Miracle Broadcast System.

Biopsy Results Are In

So, I decide to see if the grandbabies can meet us at the indoor McDonald's playground knowing I won't be able to meet them out much after the chemo/radiation begins (at least not anywhere where germs are rampant as they tend to be in the winter.) 

Gastro doctor called while in the madness of the playground so I stepped outside.
"Hi Michelle.   Dr. Curtis is out of town.  I'm his partner and calling to tell you your results.  I know he probably told you what the chances were."

Me:  "Yes, he told me 99.9% he thought it was cancer.   But I'm sure you called to tell me that it was the .1% not."

Doctor:  "Well, that was hopeful (cheerful voice) and I wish it was true but no, I'm afraid you do have cancer........."

What a hard job that most be.   To be the doctor who has to tell folks that they have cancer.   Hoping I made his one call a little easier today by a little humor.   I know this didn't catch God by surprise so no need to fear.  Appreciate all the prayers and show of support.   Pray tomorrow that they find 1) I'm totally healed and the cancer has miraculously disappeared and/or 2) it's only in my colon. 

Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.  Psalm 31:24

Visit with Surgeon

Today my husband and I went to the surgeon.   Good news is that I should make beach weight this summer.   Bad news is I will because 8 weeks of radiation/chemotherapy is on the agenda.   The mass was confirmed by this doctor that it is large.  After being completely violated in details that I won't go into on this blog, he was happy to find the mass was much higher than thought so I shouldn't lose all my colon, probably only 1/3 and 2/3 of my rectum  They don't want to do surgery until they have shrunk the mass.  After those 8 weeks, my body rests for 8 weeks then I have the surgery to remove the mass and give me a temporary bag.   After 6-8 weeks of recovery, if I don't have to go through more chemo. they will put me back together again and I'll be almost as good as new.   However, no matter how  much weight I lose, he let me know my stomach muscles are complete separated from having so many children so unless I had stomach surgery I won't be having a six pack on the beach again this summer.   (Yep, that's been a real concern, lol.)  That's all the details as of yet.   Thank you so much for all the notes of concern and I cannot tell you how much your prayers mean to myself and my family during this time.   Much love, Michelle

Top 6 Countdodwn of What I may Hear from the Doctor Today

I head to the doctor to hear how serious things are and how we are going to proceed with this mass they found in me.   Bu my goofy sense of humor came up with at 3:30 this morning a top 6 countdown of what I may hear from the doctor today.  
6) You can't blame your weight on this mass. 
5) When your husband said you were full of it, well, you were.
4) This surgery is going to be a royal pain in your behind. 
3) You are at least "healthy" enough weight wise that you won't get too thin no matter what treatment we decide. 
2) You can use this as an excuse of why you cannot go to your friend's child's birthday party on a rainy Saturday in Chuckie Cheese. and last but not least 
1) You cannot make a sad countenance every time you are losing a game just so you'll be felt sorry for and they will let you win.


Ahh, laughter is good medicine.   Even made Rusty smile this morning as we head out in the cold, rain that would seem to be the perfect setting for dark news but.....Christ.

We Wish You a Mary Christmas

What a wonderful weekend!   We began our Christmas celebration at my daughter Cindy's house with all the Rutherfords, my sister's family (the Colstons), my mother & stepfather (a.k.a. Nana and Grandy Randy), Aunt Fran, Uncle Mike and Aunt Joan all came together.  We ate a feast of horsdevours followed by the sneaky Santa game with all the children.   It always brings rolls of laughter.  We then traded gifts with the families we wouldn't see on Christmas. 

We spent the night at my daughter's home and put our gifts under the tree as soon a we got the very excited little one's to sleep.   We read all the sweet notes that I had received concerning my illness.   We were overwhelmed with kindness and then we ended with giggles watching silly videos.   Hit the sack totally exhausted but awoke ~3 am with a frightening voice in my head telling me what awful news I was going o hear Tuesday and that there would be no hope for me.   My mind began to go places I had not allowed it to visit since hearing I had a mass Tuesday.   Fortunately for the great preaching I had heard under Pastor Wade Trimmer, his FEAR acronym came right to mind.   I preached to myself that fear was False Evidence Appearing Real.   Purposely choosing against allowing my mind to wander the rabbit trail of what if's and hopelessness I choose instead to pray and worship the Lord.  His peace surrounded me and I slept soundly the rest of the night and even awoke earlier than I had in months!! 

O come let us adore Him
O come let us adore Him
O come let us adore Him
Christ the Lord.

After making our family's grits casserole (recipe I believe is on my menu blog), we sat and slowly opened gifts.   With a large family such as ours, it takes quite a bit of time because we make sure every gift is seen, every one thanked, and savor each moment.    The wee ones still being in "training mode" had a little bit harder time but relatively quickly got the hang of it.    Then many went into nap mode while the mama's went into organizing and followed quickly by relaxing mode.   There are 16 people present and it's as peaceful as could be on this rainy, Christmas day.  At some point today, when the family is awake and attentive we'll read the His birth story in Luke and hopefully sing some carols together.

For He alone is worthy
For He alone is worthy
For He alone is worthy
Christ the Lord.

 We will have lasagne together around three.   Our family will gather from my daughter's family's home and unload at the house.   We will then go visit my mother's home as my brother will have arrived today.  Everyone has been so kind to me and I've not had to really fulfill my normal mom's roles.   My appetizer last night was even taken over by the women in the kitchen who ordered me to go sit.   The only thing I've personally prepared was the breakfast casserole.  

We give you all the glory

We give you all the glory

We give you all the glory
Christ the Lord.

"Like Mary, the mother of Jesus, I pray that you will make plans to have a “Mary” Christmas” by experiencing His entering into you, growing within you, happening through you, and impacting the world around you. May you not miss the Christ of Christmas and may you have a never ending “Mary” Christmas!" ~Wade Trimmer tridm.org

Merry Christmas Adam

You know, Adam came before Eve and tomorrow is Christmas Eve.  Have spent the day with my 4 youngest at my daughter's house.   We baked, we sat and laughed at youtube videos, we baked, I napped, we baked, we played jeopardy (and got spanked by her husband), now we need to clean but we are playing scrabble first.

Michael wanted to make a Happy Birthday Jesus cake and decided upon a peanut butter cake.  We made a french vanilla cake and flavored it with peanut butter.   After we baked the cake, we made peanut butter frosting with butter, peanut butter, powdered sugar and milk.   Michael frosted the cake and then cut up little peanut butter cups all over the top.   He did a great job.

Praise, Michael & Cindy also made cute little pretzel snacks with m and m's and chocolate chips.   They also made peanut butter, sugar, and chocolate chip cookies.  We baked many small loaves of bread.    We'll have to finish the rest of the baking tomorrow because if you stuck a fork in me now you'd find that I'm done.   Thanking the Lord for all the sweet notes of prayer I received today.  Good night.

I Don't Get the Slacker Mom Award, phew!!

I have been feeling lousy for  few months.   Most people don't know the intricate details of our big family but my husband has always provided well but it requires he works... a lot.     I don't complain (anymore, lol) because I realize it's how I'm able to be home and home school the children.  But that also means I get little sleep....6 hours the norm until a few months ago.   To pinpoint exactly when things weren't right is not easy.  I started out being early to our home school co-op on Tuesday's the first few months then I could barely get there when it began.   I began taking naps with my 2 year old (which I've never done unless I was pregnant and sick because it seemed such a waste of time.)   I fell asleep every night right after dinner.    My house began falling apart although the kiddos helped a lot; I just didn't have it in me to make them do more when I was becoming such a sluggard.  My thoughts were 1) I am truly lazy and a slob!  Why am I not doing more or 2) maybe I'm depressed but I cannot figure out about what for the life of me.   Therefore, when I finally took the time to go to the doctor, my iron was low, my blood pressure in normal range but high for me, cholesterol slightly high (did I mention I quit cooking and eating...this was not a surprise), but they couldn't find my uterus or ovaries until they did an ultrasound on the outside of my belly and they were high.   They sent me home with prenatal vitamins to get my iron levels up and I told my children we were expecting again...  the littles were all woo hoos.....the olders were like "mom, aren't you too old?"   I told them the truth, afterwards.  (I totally had them fooled because they know I'd always LOVE to have another baby.)  I agree with Mother Teresa when she said, "How can there be too many children? That is like saying there are too many flowers."

A colonoscopy and mammogram ordered next.  (When did I get so old?  The ladies I met last week thought I was 25 and now I'm having old folk's appointments!)    Well, everything changed after the colonoscopy when they told my husband and I that I had a large mass that needed to be removed immediately and were 99.9% sure it was colon/rectal cancer.  I advised them this was not the Christmas gift I wanted and could they please take it back.   Not understanding my goofy humor, they said they were so sorry.    We told the family and allowed them to tell others to pray.  The Lord is actually given me such a peace that I'm handling this news much better than my family.  (However, if it was one of my family members, I don't know if I'd be doing as well either.)   Humor has always been a part of our family and it helps in stressful times.   Proverbs 17:22 tells us a joyful heart is good medicine and I believe it.   When my mother checked in with me this morning, she asked if I knew how they were going to remove the mass.  I replied, "I don't know mom, but I have a feeling it's going to be a royal pain in the butt!!" and laughed and laughed and laughed.

"It's a Wonderful Life" has always been one of my favorite Christmas movies.   I've never been a pessimist as Jimmy Stewart's character plays.   However, I can relate to the surprise he felt when the whole town came to bless him in his darkest hours.   I have been overwhelmed with notes of encouragement, love and prayer.   There is already a blessing found in this situation I am facing.   Relationships are being restored.   Things seem pretty petty in the light of cancer.  I believe this outpouring of love from the church is already at work healing the seeds of cynicism that were planted in the hearts of some of my family members.   Although they still loved the Lord, they lost trust in the church body.  Praying this restores them to see that the Lord is still in the church.   Why He chose us to begin with is a mystery to me.   We are a mess!   But for some reason, He chooses to use the messy and ugly (like us) to bless the world with His love and grace.   What a Savior!

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood

and sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

and looked down one as far as I could

to where it bent in the undergrowth;

I've always loved this Robert Frost poem.   This new adventure that has been thrust upon me is not the path I would have chosen.  As a sweet friend told me when she faced breast cancer, she wouldn't have chosen it either but told the Lord she'd walk it with Him if that's the path He placed her on.  I too choose to walk in the way He leads. I hope, of course, that just as He healed my Praise from death, seizures, and macrocephalus, that He will choose to take this from me as well.  He's a big God! I know my path could change in a blink.  However, as Daniel and his friends told the king, I KNOW HE can, but if not...I still choose to praise Him.   Good grief...where else could I go?   Once you have tasted and seen that the Lord is good nothing else can satisfy!!
 

My brother and sister got the "Monk" gene that makes their homes neat as pins and I got the "happy go lucky wish I could be as neat gene".  I will never have a gorgeous all together home like my siblings (whom I'm so proud of), but it was a big relief to find out I wasn't going to get the 2011 Slacker Mom Award, I wasn't depressed nor crazy (although my family may say the jury is still out on that claim), I was just ill.   Time to heal up.   Will be doing a super healthy diet such as "The Hallelujah Diet" or "The Gerson Diet" that I watched in "A Beautiful Truth" last year beginning Monday.   Don't know how much exercise will happen as it takes all my strength just to get a "little" done each day but may walk with the kiddos when the energy hits.  I'm not going to function as if it's over.   I've got my fighting gloves on and until the Lord tells me different He is going to see us through this.   I've got too many little ones to not put up a big fight.   (Remind me of this if I get weary!)   I'm going to continue to try to live each day without regrets and press in to the Lord, my source of strength.   Lastly, I will choose to thank the Lord in all things (I Thess 5:18) even this dark and scary journey that I am choosing to see as a new adventure with the Lord.   It seems fitting to end with the last stanza of Robert Frost's poem.

 I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence;

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference.

Merry Christmas 2011

2011 Tordoff Holiday Letter

Greetings to the saints, faithful friends and family.  I've always loved how Paul began his letters.  Wishing my salutations to you could be so eloquent and inspiring, I chose to begin this letter with a snippet from Colossians 1:  ⁹And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, ¹⁰so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. ¹¹ May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, ¹² giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. ¹³He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, ¹⁴ in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

2011 has raced by.  Even though I am fighting the speed of each week with all my might by cutting out extras to enjoy each day, it still marches on rather quickly.   Our family has been blessed with another year of living life.   Though there are many days that we struggle to keep the house in order, the laundry under control, the sock basket full, the dishwasher empty, the garden weeded, school work completed... we press on.  Of course, my fantasy world would have me managing all my duties with excellence, always complete with plenty of time to study, draw, write, sew, bake, etc.   Reality smacks back and sometimes rather hard.  Having a choice of pondering the "if only's" or "keep on keeping on", I choose the latter and try to give thanks for all those duties.   Thank you Lord that when we hang out laundry we have the ability to enjoy nature for a few fleeting moments that I would otherwise not have taken time for. Thank you for this mountain of clothes to launder because you blessed my womb with a household of children fit for your kingdom and clothed them all.   Thank you for these dishes piled in my sink for you have provided my family with food.  Mostly this year, I thank the Lord for choosing a mess like me who struggles to balance life well and for constantly teaching me to find my identity in Him and not all my shortcomings (phew, that's BIG!).

John Russell is officially a MAN this year.   He is 18 and graduated.  He has been doing lots of odd work (from detailing cars, being the "geek squad" for a small company, and cleaning evictions) while saving up for personal training and nutrition courses.  He continues to enjoy working out, and hanging out with friends and family.  His dream would to one day own a Cross Fit gym. 

Nicholas, 16 and a junior in high school this year, has been working hard on his Classical Conversations Challenge II courses.   His favorite subject this year has been Biology.  He still enjoys running (like John Russell) or biking. He is now leaning towards being a linguist when he finishes his high school courses.   When we finish Latin II, he wants to begin Spanish, then Arabic.    He's more ambitious than I!

Timothy, 14, has had no more dramatic breaks to report this year, phew!  He has had no problems since his arm was repaired in surgery the year before.   He is working hard on his Challenge B courses.  His favorite subject this year is Science.  He continues to play tennis along with Praise, Michael and his cousins Clayton and Grace Anne.

Praise, 12, is in her last year of foundations in Classical Conversations.  Her favorite subject is art.  She and Timothy still cook a lot and she still dreams of owning a bakery with Grace Anne.    If we can not find her, she is usually hiding with a book.  She plays around at the piano so lessons are on the agenda and she enjoys tennis with the others.

Michael, 10, has probably grown the most this year.  His favorite subject is Geography.  He loves to camp outside with his brothers (unless he gets too cold), ride bikes, to swim, and play tennis.  He has made new friends through church and Classical Conversations this year.

Emily, 6, is in first grade and reading.   Strange to think I only have one more child to teach how to read.    Her favorite subject is math or as she calls it "numbers".   She loves playing at tennis :D, being outside with her siblings, and swimming in the summer.

Christopher, 2, is 98% potty trained hence my last year of diapers.  Happy for the savings but will miss the baby years.   He loves being with his nephew Jackson and making us laugh.   He woke up a few days ago and said he wanted to watch "Cake Boss."  He calls John Russell when he's gone and tells him to "come home" and "be careful".   He's still yummy to squeeze and smooch on.

Cindy's family is busy but doing great.  Brandon keeps busy with work and holding down the fort while Cindy is in school. Cindy is excelling in nursing school.  Rylie began Christian school at Augusta Christian and loves it.  Jackson, all boy, is a happy, smiley 3 year old.

Our family still enjoys lots of laughter.  I wish I wrote down all the funny things they say and do each day that keeps us in stitches and helps us struggle through life together with smiles on our faces.    I pray you had a wonderful year filled with laughter and joy despite any tears and heartache.  I pray you know the preeminence of Christ as found in Colossians 1 and know that ¹⁵ He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation. ¹⁶For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him. ¹⁷And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together. ¹⁸And he is the head of the body, the church. He is the beginning, the firstborn from the dead, that in everything he might be preeminent. ¹⁹For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, ²⁰and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross.  I pray that (Col 2) ⁶ therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, ⁷ rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving.  

Love to all.  Be sure to keep in touch!

Merry Christmas to All

from the Tordoff Troop and

Blessings for a Wonderful New Year

Spirt of Thanksgiving

Almighty God,
Father of all mercies,
we your unworthy servants give you humble thanks
for all your goodness and loving-kindness
to us and to all whom you have made.

We bless you
for our creation, preservation,
and all the blessings of this life;
but above all for your immeasurable love
in the redemption of the world
by our Lord Jesus Christ;
for the means of grace, and for the hope of glory.

And, we pray,
give us such an awareness of your mercies,
that with truly thankful hearts
we may show forth your praise,
not only with our lips, but in our lives,
by giving up ourselves to your service,
and by walking before you
in holiness and righteousness all our days;
through Jesus Christ our Lord,
to whom, with you and the Holy Spirit,
be honor and glory throughout all ages. Amen.
Book of Common Prayer/Book of Divine Worship

Quote from "A Tale of Two Cities" by Charles Dickins

It was the best of times,

it was the worst of times,

it was the age of wisdom,

it was the age of foolishness,

it was the epoch of belief,

it was the epoch of incredulity,

it was the season of Light,

it was the season of Darkness,

it was the spring of hope,

it was the winter of despair, 

we had everything before us, 

we had nothing before us, 

we were all going direct to Heaven, 

we were all going direct the other way

--in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ecclesiastes 1:9

The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; 

and that which is done is that which shall be done: 

and there is no new thing under the sun. 

Jesus to His Mother by J.R.. Miller

It was on the cross that Jesus paid his last tribute of love and honor to his mother.   The nails were in his hands and feet and he hung there in agony.  He was dying in deepest shame.  The obloquy of the world was pouring its blackest tides upon his head.  In the throng below,, his eye fell on a little group of loving friends, and among them he saw his mother.   Full as his heart was of its own anguish, it was not too full to give thought to her.  She would have no protector now.  The storms would beat in merciless fury upon her unsheltered head.  Besides the bitterness of her bereavement there must be the shame she must endure on his account, the shame of being the mother of one who died on a cross.  His heart felt all this, and there, in the midst of his own agony, he made provision for her, preparing a home and shelter for her.  Amid the dark scenes of the cross his example shines like star in the bosom of the blackest clouds saying to us, "Honor they father and they mother."

Gleanings from 'The Hiding Place" Corrie Ten Boom

"Sometimes I would slip the Bible from its little sack with 

hands that shook, so mysterious had it become to me. 

It was new; it had just been written. 

I marveled sometimes that the ink was dry. 

I had believed the Bible always, but reading it now 

had nothing to do with belief. 

It was simply a description of the way things were--

of hell and heaven, 

of how men act and how God acts. 

I had read a thousand times the story of Jesus' arrest --

how soldiers had slapped him, 

laughed at Him, 

flogged Him. 

Now such happenings had faces and voices."

~Corrie Ten Boom 

"The Hiding Place"

 

If you asked my family, they would tell you I am not an "emotional" mama.  I never have been.  They have seen me cry in church services where the Holy Spirit was moving more than the day to day moments of life.  Now my heart cries over many things...the injustices in the world, the desire for salvation to come to all my family and that they walk close to Him each day, the overwhelming awe for the mercy I receive each moment from a loving Father who knows my many faults and shortcomings yet still loves me, and more.   Even though I've read her story before, you cannot help but cry when you read "The Hiding Place".  

Your heart breaks that anyone could ignore such brutal inhumanity such as was inflicted in Europe by the Nazis.  Yet my heart wonders how many injustices I miss or am immune to each day while trying to get my daily list done and am about my own business.  

Encouragement in our God, who keeps you in His arms, is found when you read the many miracles experienced in the dark, brutally cold, crowded, flea-infested prison.  It's hard to complain about cobwebs and piles of laundry when you know how really blessed and free you are.  But you can live in a prison of your own design, if you walk in fear and miss the blessings He pours out each day for you.

If you want a quick read that will truly build your faith in our amazing God, who provides and cares for your every need, who is with you in the darkest of times, who has purposes and designs for your life this is the book for you.  Be sure to have tissues handy for the tears of heartache and the tears of thankfulness.

So much to do....so little time

Outside the trees are blowing sporadically in the grey sky while sprinkles of rain drops come down off and on throughout the afternoon.  Inside our home is warmth and coziness with most of it's members around the dining room table.  Two children are working on origami while two others are practicing their music.  Two other children are looking and sorting through the rock collection.  All the while I am answering e-mails, reading Pride and Prejudice for my co-op class, planning school and work for the week as beefy-vegetable and cabbage soup is permeating the air around us.  There is a floor to be mopped, clothes to be folded, and bathrooms to be scrubbed but for now I will enjoy these moments of togetherness that pass by so quickly.

I Peter 1:24
²⁴For all flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of grass. The grass withereth, and the flower thereof falleth away:  ²⁵But the word of the Lord endureth for ever.

Whom do you want to get noticed?

"When Jesus entered Jerusalem many people spread their clothing and palm branches on the street to honor the Lord.
"Jesus was riding, as the prophets foretold, on a donkey.  In this was the feet of Jesus did not touch the street adorned with clothes and branches, but instead the donkey walked right over them.

"It would have been very stupid of the donkey if she had imagined that she was very important.  It was not for her that the people threw their clothes on the streets."

Stupid are those who spread the good news of Jesus and expect to receive glory themselves.  The glory should go to Jesus.  

Excerpted from, "He Cares for You" by Corrie Ten Boom.

One door closes....and another opens

I've managed a warehouse for a missionary for about the last 5 years.  It's been a great blessing for our family to work together.  However, the business is closing this month.  It wasn't a total surprise as just a few years ago we were shipping sometimes 500 books a week and now we were shipping maybe 20.  It was a great provision from the Lord when we needed it.  As I was praying about what our new season would look like and knowing finances were going to be difficult if my husband didn't get cabinet jobs, I was sure of God's provision again.  In a very short time, we were given the opportunity of taking over the home school consignment store in the Augusta area.  Although it has made October very difficult with closing down a warehouse and starting a new business at the same time, (not to mention home schooling, teaching high school classes in our co-op...and would you believe my family still wanted to eat and wear clean clothes!!)  it's been exciting too.  I began a face book group "Big Happy Family Books" and will try to list books as they come in the store to keep folks abreast of what is available.  Although these are very uncertain times in our economy, I'm optimistic about our new direction.  Hoping to do a better job posting on this blog, along with my cooking and saving money blogs since we will be home more.  Thank you Lord for your provision!