True confession: I have been really struggling going back this round of chemo. The first time I wrestled less knowing I had a huge tumor in me that had to be shrunk fast in order to do surgery. But since surgery, I miss eating salads and fresh vegetables due to my ostomy. We try to eat as healthy as our finances can afford for our large family and my mind is having a hard time believing this bland diet is good for me fighting cancer. I miss nuts too. We rarely take any medication and we've done few to no immunizations. Chemo has caused my low blood pressure to be ~145/92 since this round! I walk most nights trying to get this back down but to no avail. Chemo has not been an easy choice to begin with. I've been shown lots of alternatives and have done a lot of research. I've been praying the Lord would show me what to do. Please Lord give me your wisdom. Well, I slept so much after this last dose that I just knew my levels would be too low again. So, I told the Lord if they are too low I am telling the doctor that it's just not working for me and I need to see what alternatives I have... specifically a nutritional route. However, if my levels are good, I am going to choose to continue the course prescribed unless I just don't have the peace of the Lord. Would you believe although many of my levels were very low they weren't too low to continue. DOGGONE IT! But God had other plans for me today...it was a glorious day at chemo. I met a single young mother named Tina with two young children who is suffering through breast cancer. She lost her job as a nurse's aide. She's been told it's her fault she has cancer. The Lord gave me the opportunity to be an ear to a hurting soul. Although she is very shy and I was 2 hours sitting next to her before I even got a word, eventually she shared her hurts, doubts, and fears. She told me she is a believer so I told her she'd have to do what I do and start preaching the Truth to herself. She is a child of the King who loves her. We live in a fallen world and bad things happen, BUT GOD who loves us with an everlasting love will never leave us nor forsake us. He is our provider and shared scriptures of hope with her. I reminded her that the future for a Christian is as bright as the promises of God. Have you ever noticed how you share faith with others that your own is bolstered as well? Then she gave me the privilege of praying for her. Please lift her up as well. After that I was able to speak to a woman with lung cancer who had a huge mass in her chest. She has been so sick that she has lost nearly 50#! She just can't eat. She was in the hospital 17 days after her first treatment!! Well, they decided they needed to giver her body a break for a bit before finishing her treatments. They did a cat scan to see how she was responding and I got to hear great news!! The doctor said when you compare her first scan which appeared to cover her entire chest to the new scan that they saw NOTHING!! Her daughter started hollering hallelujah! Oh, how we all rejoiced! If I had canceled my chemo today, I would have missed out on some wonderful, divine appointments. I interacted with 7 patients today that I would have never known, finished a C.S. Lewis book, and my husband and I had a birthday breakfast with my 11 year old before my appt. I was able to visit with my mom who brought me lunch at chemo. While I was gone, the older children mowed the yard today, put leftover spaghetti in the crock pot for dinner this morning, and they kept the house clean. After I returned and napped, they got their math and reading accomplished despite me! What a fantastic day to be poisoned :).
1 comment:
What a blessing you are! You were a bright light in those two women's lives today :)
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