First Day of Radiation

It seems almost surreal that I have cancer.    The few hours a day I feel "normal" we school, clean, read, etc. like every other year.   However, in the last few months  I've become a napper.   I've never liked napping except when I was in the nonfunctional tired stage of pregnancy and even then felt like I wasted time.   I guess I'm sleeping so much because I've become anemic, because I don't sleep well at night due to the pain, or lately from rolling onto the port they put in for the chemo.   I've had 12 appointments in the past few weeks and beginning today will have one appointment four days a week and two appointments one day a week.   Of course, that doesn't include children's six month dental cleanings coming up or Praise's blood work to be sure her thyroid levels are where they should be.   I'm so thankful for the friends and family who get my children to co-op and the park for tennis on Tuesdays and church on Wednesday evenings so their schedule stays pretty much the same. 

The great news of this week is that my mammogram results are in and breast cancer isn't another issue.   That was the original concern after my first appointment due to some fibroid cysts found during my appointment.    Today was my first radiation treatment.   I was surprised to find out how tired I was afterwards and that it felt like my insides were on fire.    Came home and went to bed.   Woke up, ate dinner, and played cards with the family.   The meals that have been provided for our family has been such a blessing.   The prayers have sustained me and I have had more energy since folks have been praying for me than I had before I was diagnosed.  The Lord has given my family and I such peace that it's hard to put into words.    Asking why has not been something I wrestle with because I know we live in a fallen world.   Of course, I'd love for this not to be an issue in our family or for anyone else.   Then again I also wish we didn't have human trafficking, abortion, homeless people, hunger, etc.   It sure makes you long for the new heaven and the new earth.  “Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”(Rev. 21:3-4)  But I'm not ready yet.   I'm hoping to raise my children, see them get married, having more grandchildren and grow old with my high school sweetheart.  Until the Lord tells me otherwise, I'm believing He is able to heal me in a moment or even through medical means.  Thanking the Lord for all the good things He's provided since becoming ill and for being closer than a brother.