Quote from "Stepping Heavenward" by Mrs. E. Prentiss

"She says I shall now have one mouth more to fill and two feet the more to shoe, more disturbed nights, more laborious days, and less leisure or visiting, reading, music and drawing.

Well! This is one side of the story, to be sure, but I look at the other.

Here is a sweet, fragrant mouth to kiss; here are two more feet to make music with their pattering about my nursery. Here is a soul to train for God; and the body in which dwells is worthy of all it will cost, since it is the abode of a kingly tenant. I may see less of friends, but I have gained one dearer than them all, to whom, while I minister in Christ's name, I make a willing sacrifice of what little leisure for my own recreation my other dear darlings had left me. Yes, my precious baby, you are welcome to her time, her strength, her health, her tenderest cares, to her lifelong prayers! Oh, how rich I am, how truly, wondrously blest!"

Monday, October 29, 2012

Packing Away My C Card

What a wonderful day!   Thank you Lord Jesus.

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart;
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night,
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light.

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word;
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord;
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son;
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one.

Be Thou my battle Shield, Sword for the fight;
Be Thou my Dignity, Thou my Delight;
Thou my soul’s Shelter, Thou my high Tower:
Raise Thou me heavenward, O Power of my power.

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise,
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always:
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart,
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art.

High King of Heaven, my victory won,
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heaven’s Sun!
Heart of my own heart, whatever befall,
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all.

~Dallan Forgail (8th Century)

Today I went to the surgeon.   I dreaded it because they have to check me out in the "exit only" area, but at the same time I was ready to make an appointment for my reversal.   However, during the check up he said he no longer saw any cancer.  WOOO HOOO!   The definite report will come with my cat scan.   My blood pressure was also awful during chemo, but today it was in the normal range 125/84 (although still high for my normal 110/60 or 70).   The one side effect I hoped for was weight loss from all the throwing up, but that sure didn't happen, sheesh.   I still don't enjoy anything but water, juice, and warm tea to drink.  Unsweetened tea, milk, and any soda tastes awful to me now.  I think the oxyplatin they gave me that messes up your throat and hands when you try to eat, drink, or touch anything cold has done something to my throat.   I still have some recovering to do from when the radiation cooked my insides and possibly some scar tissue issues, but we'll work on those issues after surgery and recovery.   I am so excited that I will soon be eating fresh vegetables and fruit again!  (Although, I did cheat and ate some fruit because I craved it so badly.   I even snuck tomatoes from my sister's garden and chewed them up and spit them out like a bulimic just to get that fresh tomato taste this summer.)   I just was careful to chew a lot and not eat too much.   My Praise says when I'm healed up and can go out, we are getting a huge California Dreaming salad.    I can't wait!!   

So the next month looks something like this:   Thursday Oncologist appt to check blood levels, and give me date for the Cat Scan and chest x-ray.    Then on the 12th pre-op and some yucky glow in the dark enema procedure (eww!)   On the 21st surgery.   The surgery should take about an hour and a half (versus ~5 hours last time) and only 2-3 days in the hospital (versus 5 days last time.)  I will be in the hospital with a lovely liquid diet on Thanksgiving and you know what? I am not complaining, because I have too much to be thankful for this year.    

Life is precious, life is sweet
Like the earth beneath my feet
Though I know I'm passing through
I know I belong to You
Life is precious, life is sweet
And this truth makes it complete
Knowing Jesus died for me
Life is precious
Life is precious, life is sweet    ~Wes King

What am I  preaching to myself these days?   When I am weary and tired, I've encouraged myself by finding things to be thankful for in my life.   When I was discouraged at what needed to be done, I'd just make plans for when I was better and do little things to make me feel like we are getting closer to getting things done.  When I got too weary and ill, I'd usually tell my sister knowing she'd encourage me in the Lord and pray for me.   We're still studying revival on Wednesday nights which has been so good.   How I've been praying to be revivedWe've been learning the words to the hymn I began with in this post  "Be Thou My Vision".    Filling my heart with thankfulness and my mind with hymns that speak Truth, reading books that challenge me, studying the Word, praising the King of Kings, serving my family and allowing them to serve me A LOT this past year, being encouraged by family and friends kindnesses and prayers for our family, and enjoying every moment the Lord has given me has strengthened me this year.   My body is much weaker, but my faith has grown.  So after today's news, I'm packing away my C card.   I can no longer blame cancer on my laziness, unfinished projects, and slow moving school days.   I can no longer tell my family that I can't believe they are letting their mother with cancer (sniff, sniff) lose a game, unload the groceries, or be wrong...about anything, lol.   I gladly pack this card away, and continue to pray for my growing list of friends in their own battle with this awful disease that they too will pack away their C card and live healthy lives.      


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