“O LORD, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days;
let me know how fleeting I am! Psalm 39:4
I still believe I'll strive to make the best choices as possible because my body is not my own. I'll still make as much food from scratch as possible because it saves money and doesn't have ingredients I don't know how to even pronounce in the meal. I'll buy local and organic when I can but will not feel like a failure mom when I cannot.
What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's. I Cor 6:19-20
I'm still praying for a long life here to see my children grow and to invest in the generations. However, I won't ever believe "I beat" cancer or that "I was stronger." This disease has shown me how helpless I am. Ultimately, it's in God's hands. BUT I do believe we serve a God that still chooses to heal and until He tells me no, I'm praying for complete healing and health in Jesus name.
It has also caused me to reflect more on how I spend my time. I hope that my children remember me in His Word, preaching the good news, praising His name more than worrying about food. You could go crazy trying to figure out the healthiest way too eat: vegetarian, organic grass fed meat only, butter, no butter, olive oil, no oils, raw milk, no milk, and on and on and on and on.
“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:31-34
And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:15-17
It's a matter of the heart. As a mom, I do plan meals and try to purchase wisely with the resources God gives us. It's a part of my job description that I truly enjoy. The past four months we have been given lots of meals. Do you think I was going to see if they measured up to certain standards? No way. We have been so thankful for the way the Lord has provided for us while I have been under the weather.
Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. James 1:17
What's next on this cancer journey? Went to surgeon visit today and he seemed a little concerned that I have pain where the cancer was but he thinks it's probably due to all his dissection a few weeks ago in my body. Friday I see the oncologist and find out when chemo begins again and for how long. Nobody mentioned another round of radiation so hoping that is nowhere in my future. Pain is lessening each day but will be glad when it's gone. Went off the big pain meds yesterday and going to try to control with motrin. Hopefully, that will be short lived as well. Thanks again for all the prayers and show of love to our family during this trial.