Quote from "Stepping Heavenward" by Mrs. E. Prentiss

"She says I shall now have one mouth more to fill and two feet the more to shoe, more disturbed nights, more laborious days, and less leisure or visiting, reading, music and drawing.

Well! This is one side of the story, to be sure, but I look at the other.

Here is a sweet, fragrant mouth to kiss; here are two more feet to make music with their pattering about my nursery. Here is a soul to train for God; and the body in which dwells is worthy of all it will cost, since it is the abode of a kingly tenant. I may see less of friends, but I have gained one dearer than them all, to whom, while I minister in Christ's name, I make a willing sacrifice of what little leisure for my own recreation my other dear darlings had left me. Yes, my precious baby, you are welcome to her time, her strength, her health, her tenderest cares, to her lifelong prayers! Oh, how rich I am, how truly, wondrously blest!"

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Wandering Thoughts on Health & Control

Although I don't feel I made health an idol, I did somehow believe my chances of getting cancer were pretty low due to my healthy choices (salads or vegetable soups daily, whole grain home made breads from grains I ground myself, as much organic food choices as we could afford, juicing, nursing babies for over 14 years, etc.)   To say I was shocked to find out I had colon cancer, would be an understatement.   It also has me pondering how  much control do I really have over my health?   My conclusion:   not as much as I'd like.   Don't get me wrong that doesn't mean I'm now going to junk out, start smoking, and become a couch potato.   But, it does mean I'm even more thankful for every day the Lord gives me....that HE  CHOOSES to give me.

“O LORD, make me know my end and what is the measure of my days; 
let me know how fleeting I am!  Psalm 39:4

I still believe I'll strive to make the best choices as possible because my body is not my own.   I'll still make as much food from scratch as possible because it saves money and doesn't have ingredients I don't know how to even pronounce in the meal.  I'll buy local and organic when I can but will not feel like a failure mom when I cannot.   

What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?  For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.   I Cor 6:19-20

I'm still praying for a long life here to see my children grow and to invest in the generations.   However, I won't ever believe "I beat" cancer or that "I was stronger."   This disease has shown me how helpless I am.  Ultimately, it's in God's hands.    BUT I do believe we serve a God that still chooses to heal and until He tells me no, I'm praying for complete healing and health in Jesus name.   

It has also caused me to reflect more on how I spend my time.   I hope that my children remember me in His Word, preaching the good news, praising His name more than worrying about food.    You could go crazy trying to figure out the healthiest way too eat:   vegetarian, organic grass fed meat only, butter, no butter, olive oil, no oils, raw milk, no milk, and on and on and on and on.   

“Therefore do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.  Matthew 6:31-34

It's a matter of the heart.   As a mom, I do plan meals and try to purchase wisely with the resources God gives us.   It's a part of my job description that I truly enjoy.   The past four months we have been given lots of meals.   Do you think I was going to see if they measured up to certain standards?  No way.   We have been so thankful for the way the Lord has provided for us while I have been under the weather.  

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.   Colossians 3:15-17
  Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.  James 1:17

What's next on this cancer journey?     Went to surgeon visit today and he seemed a little concerned that I have pain where the cancer was but he thinks it's probably due to all his dissection a few weeks ago in my body.   Friday I see the oncologist and find out when chemo begins again and for how long.   Nobody mentioned another round of radiation so hoping that is nowhere in my future.   Pain is lessening each day but will be glad when it's gone.   Went off the big pain meds yesterday and going to try to control with motrin.   Hopefully, that will be short lived as well.   Thanks again for all the prayers and show of love to our family during this trial.  

1 comment:

Mary Lou said...

Dear Michelle,
Your mom is my dear friend of 50+ years and she gave me your Blog address. I have been following your progress through this cancer odeal and have cried at the bravery that you have shown during all of what has taken place. I marvel at your strong belief in the LORD and your courage. I would have faltered at the beginning if it had been me. I pray for you and your brave family each night and hope that all of this will be over very soon. My prayer for you , is that you have a very long life, filled with nothing but love and laughter. GOD Bless you and keep you in HIS Shalom[Perfect Peace].Love, Mary Lou

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