I awoke this morning with a sense of excitement. I realized I have been sent on a mission field. I am to give the Hope of Jesus where the fear of death is commonplace. Last year I had no doctors. Heck, last month I had no doctor. Today I have 4, a gynecologist, a gastroenterologist, an oncologist, and a surgeon. That's four new offices with lots of nurses. I will be going 5 days a week for 8 weeks to chemo/radiation treatments and will have opportunities to speak to lots of people. As a busy home schooling Mom of 8, I thought my big mission trips would come when the children are grown. I could become a Betty Fountain, an older saint at our last church, who spent her last years going back to forth to Honduras ministering to others. While they were in high school, my oldest daughter went to Honduras and my oldest son went to Brazil. I hope each of my children get a taste of mission work before they leave home that spurs a lifetime interest of investment. It's why we spent years of Tuesday mornings at our church's food pantry ministry. I want our family to have a lifestyle of ministering to others. But in the here and now, I was too busy in my family ministry to invest much time elsewhere.
I will still be excited if God does a great miracle of healing in my body. However, I sense a greater purpose in this trial than God being glorified in my healing right away. Perhaps this time, it will be God glorified in my suffering. I remember Pastor Wade sharing this as one of his life verses: "I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith; that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead." Philippians 3:8-11 I always thought phew, not for me. I do count everything loss for the excellence of knowing Christ BUT do not sign me up for that suffering part. No thank you!
But now, I'm super excited about the opportunities before me. (Remind me that when I'm sick and losing hair.) So watch out Satan, what you meant for evil, God meant for good.